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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776732">Lay your weary head to rest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fermented_piss/pseuds/fermented_piss'>fermented_piss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Angels (Supernatural), Animal Death, Boys Kissing, Bullied Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mild Smut, Misgendering, No Wincest, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Graphic Smut, very gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:27:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776732</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fermented_piss/pseuds/fermented_piss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>dean tried his best to be a good son, but when things get tough and he needs to steal food for Sammy John gives up on the both of them who will be there to pick up the pieces. this fic is completely self indulgent and i am highly anticipating no one to read this</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. introduction chapter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+mommy">my mommy</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>if there is anything i consider triggering i will put warning at the beginning of each chapter. this is completely self indulgent i dont expect anyone to see this. this is just the introduction chapter so its kinda boring to be honest. &lt;3 </p><p>-oliver-</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Childhood isn't over when you grow up it's over when someone takes it from you”. My childhood was over when I had to carry my baby brother out of a burning building with the knowledge that I would never see my mother again. I feel bad that Sammy never got to know mom, and what dad was like before everything was ruined. Despite everything that has happened in the past thirteen years dad isn't a terrible father, he's doing what he believes is the best for me and Sammy. I'm not saying he's perfect though, trust me he’s made many mistakes, some of them being: teach me how to shoot a gun at the ripe age of six, leave us in stinky motels for days, but he has never hits me unless I deserve it, plus we know how to protect ourselves properly now, that's all that matters. That doesn't mean that I don't wish Sammy could live a normal life without the smelly hotels and monsters, but I am glad that dad is trying to keep Sammy out of harm's way even if it is really boring sitting doing nothing when you could be out killing things that go bump in the night. You know, it sounds really cool, the whole hunting monsters and living life on the run, but in reality it's quite repetitive, find a hunt, leave, sit a motel, find a hunt, leave, sit in a mot- you get the point, when you're not the one killing the ugly little bitches it gets bland really quick. Ok so we don't actually just sit in hotel rooms, we go to school too, which… Sammy enjoys, but me on the other hand… were never there long enough to really make friends, plus no one ever likes the new kids. Sometimes dad leaves us with Bobby but that's not very often, basically my life isn't perfect, neither is my dad, but at least I’m safe, most of the time…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sammy's nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>john found a new hunt in Packwood, Washington. this is their first night in a new town</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so three people left kudos on my last post so I'm back. this chapter is slightly better (I hope) its longer also and has actual plot development in it! I'm already working on chapter 3 but I'm trying to post too often so I don't burn myself out I am writing this on 04/21/20 but it will probably be uploaded in a couple of days because I really don't want to post twice a day. I don't think there is anything triggering in this chapter, Sam does have a nightmare but it's not graphic. I don't think i mentioned but dean is 14 and sam is 10 thank you to those that liked my last chapter you're the reason this is even published</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was almost 1 am when we pulled up to our next smelly motel. We'd be calling home for a week, maybe two, Sammy was still asleep in the backseat so I had to carry him in while dad had to carry the bags. Dad just finished a basic salt’n’burn and wanted to leave the town the same day which isn't unusual but still unpleasant because that means we have to drive all night. This time we’re in Packwood, Washington, it's not abnormal for us to occupy small towns but i'm pretty sure this place doesn't even have a grocery store, I think we're here because of a wolf pack but I’m not sure, dad never really tells me anything about the hunt unless he needs help with research.</p>
<p>    I set Sammy down on the bed we will be sharing (because dad usually never gets us rooms with two beds unless they don't have any other rooms), I take off his shoes and jacket and start getting myself ready for bed. I'm in the middle of brushing my teeth when the bathroom door is forced open, I go to cover myself because I’m only wearing my boxers but my dad is quick to say “ boy it ain't nothing I haven't seen before” I immediately stop not wanting to give my dad a reason to punish me “my room number is 103, there is money is the duffel bag, you are registered for school you start tomorrow, dont be late I don't want any calls from the headmaster, you hear” I nod still processing the information “ yes sir” I reply without a beat, the response engraved into my mind. My father then pats (more like slaps) me on the shoulder his way of showing affection and leaves, does not close the bathroom door mind you, and then I know I wont be seeing him for a while and when I do we will be leaving this dumb town.</p>
<p>    I finish getting ready for bed which includes: brushing my teeth, showering, salting all the doors and windows, tucking my knife under my pillow and slotting my gun in between the mattress and the boxspring. I slip into the lumpy bed that faintly smells like mildew, just as I'm settling in. I hear a faint whimper, I immediately grab my knife and turn the light on, my eyes are dashing around wildly looking for the threat then I realise it's just Sammy having a nightmare. I put my knife back , my focus now fully on Sammy, I pulled Sammy to my chest so his head is cradled under my chin, this usually works to calm him down, but this particular nightmare must be bad because he keeps whimpering which is slowly turning into crying. I know what I need to do. I start with gentle words coaxing him to wake “ sammy it's ok, it's just a dream, wake up, c’mon sammy wake up” when that doesn't work i start shaking him. He wakes with a start, tears springing to his eyes, i wrap my arms around him whispering sweet nothings “ it's ok, im here, i love you, everything is fine, i've got you” until he is calmed down. Once he’s stopped shaking and his eyes are relatively dry, I ask him “ do you want to tell me about your dream?” Usually he just says he's fine and we cuddle until we both fall asleep but this time he says “yes” so it must be bad.</p>
<p>      I give him a look that says go-on and the words are just flying out of his mouth “ we were walking in a forest but it wasn't a scary forest it was like a magical forest, there were fairies and flowers that smelled like bubblegum, but then it started getting really dark and you yelled at me to run so we started running, then we got to this cliff and we couldt run anymore so you told me to get behind you, so I did, then there was a werewolf and it grabbed you, and I tried to fight but there were vines wrapped around my ankles, and the werewolf started hurting you, and you started screaming for my help but I couldn't help because I was tied up with vines, then you started saying ‘sammy why won't you help me’, and i was trying to tell you that I’m tied up but then I couldn't talk and you kept saying ‘sammy help, why won't you help?’ then you ‘said this is all your fault’, then I heard a snap and you stopped talking, then I woke up”.</p>
<p>       At this point Sammy was sobbing so hard I’m surprised he didn't pass out “sammy it was just a dream, and it wasn't your fault” at that he started crying harder “shhhh sammy it's ok, I’m here I’ve got you, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, you’re going to start to wish I was gone” sammy shook his head “never De, I'll want you forever and ever until I’m old and saggy” I huffed out a laugh at that “don't be so sure about that” and then I started tickling his sides, the shriek he let out most likely woke up everyone in the inn, we both froze knowing that our dad is going to barge in, gunz a blazin in 3, 2, 1, “what happened?!?!” Sam was shying away scared he did something wrong “nothing, Sammy just saw a bug and freaked out” dad rose his eyebrow “since when is Sam afraid or some little bug” I froze not knowing what to say “I- I uh” Sammy piped in “i'm not afraid of bugs, sir, it just startled me, im sorry” dad looked satisfied with that answer “go to sleep, both of you have school tomorrow”.</p>
<p>      “Yes sir” we spoke in unison. He left our room and we both let out a sigh in relief “we need to sleep Sam” he just nodded his head “can you just hold me, please” Sam spoke in such a soft voice I almost couldn't hear him “ of course sammy” I say as I wrap my arms around him “goodnight sammy” ,  “g’night De” sammy said already half asleep, I, however did not have as much luck in the sleep department, my mind was racing, thinking about how close that was, and about Sammy’s nightmare, but most importantly how much I love my baby brother.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>as i said im already writing chapter 3 and might have already finished it, it depends on when i post this soooo stay tuned &lt;3 </p>
<p>-oliver-</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i may or may not ever come back to this, it completely depends on whether i get feedback or not. &lt;3</p><p>-oliver-</p></blockquote></div></div>
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